Calm and boring life

Calm and boring life

I was on a dating site for almost a year and chatted with different girls from different countries. I liked some, but they didn’t want to go to me, others were very busy, and others had other reasons. But then I found a girl with whom we talked for almost 4 months. We chatted and chatted through video chat. She was positive and open. I like this quality in girls - she not only talked about herself but also asked about my life and my personality.

I did not want to wait long and invited her to move to me. I understood that she has a job and an apartment with a cat there, but I decided to try to offer her this. She agreed and abandoned everything in her hometown. She came to me without an extension of the visa and we decided that she would not go to work. She cooked, cleaned the house, and washed everything. She did not go anywhere except the store. I understood that such a life was boring for her, but I worked every day and could not find time for joint leisure.

Several times we went together to the park near the house or to the store. We celebrated all the holidays at home, prepared a table, ate and slept. This lifestyle was very boring for me because I only saw work and home. But then I began to notice that for her, such a life was gray and boring. I had a job and she had only household chores. It was pleasant and calm only the first month. Then I began to think that this could last for years and became afraid of such thoughts. I am a calm person but sometimes I also want fun and celebration.

I could not tell her about it because I understood that the girl had abandoned her life and came to me. It was bad to tell her - sorry, you have to go home and start all over there. We lived comfortably and without quarrels, but such a life was fresh and monotonous. It lasted another two months and I could not tell her the truth. I began to visit the dating site again so that she did not know about it. I could not tell her the reason because it was normal for her. But I also thought all the time how to change our lives. Maybe I didn’t want to improve our life together and just realized that chatting and video were completely different than in real life. Maybe I felt guilty for inviting her so early.

It seemed to me that I was already 60 years old and I do not want anything fun. I just want to come home, eat and go to bed. Our entertainment is watching a movie and we don’t even discuss it. We had nothing to talk about and it exhausted me. I came home from work and wanted to distract myself from my colleagues and work problems, but at home there was delicious food and complete silence. She sat on social networks, made selfies and read jokes. I watched TV and chatted with friends.

Another 2 months passed and I was at the peak of my nerves. I was still thinking how to tell her that such a life was not for me. I could not make a complaint to her because she was a good housewife and an attentive partner. But I realized that family life and comfort are not all the positive things that you want to see at home. I made a few hints but she thought everything was fine. I could not speak openly because I was ashamed, but time went on.

I found an interesting series that I watched after work and invited her to watch it together. She agreed, but she had no interest. Here I realized that we have no common interests. This added courage to me and I told her that our seed life is impossible. That all this is boring and sad. That we cannot be together and I do not want a relationship with her. She reacted normally and I bought her a ticket home. Now we are still talking but very rarely. We do not have resentment against each other - we are just different people who hurried to live together. I chat with the girls again but now I have become more attentive. I ask about a hobby to find common topics for conversation. But now I do not want to live with a girl. My loneliness allowed me to find new hobbies. Maybe I just need time.